My Practice: Transformative Mediation and Dialogue
By Julie Hrdlicka
My entry point into the world of mediation was through the interest-based model. This model sees the mediator as a facilitator—someone who helps parties discuss their issues and come up with solutions that meet their respective needs. It’s designed to help people work together to "get to yes."
While I was grateful for the introduction to the mediation world, I’ll be honest: I struggled with it.
Coming from a background in community organizing and public service—serving as a school board trustee and a long-time mobilizer for social change—I’ve spent much of my life working within the tension between grassroots needs and systemic structures. I’ve seen firsthand how conflict plays out in community meetings, around governance tables, and within institutions. What I saw in those raw, high-stakes moments didn’t always line up with the "managed" approach I was being taught.
In interest-based mediation, the mediator often takes on a central role: guiding the conversation, establishing ground rules (like “be respectful” or “watch your tone”), and steering parties toward a resolution.
But something about that didn't sit right with me.
A Different Lens on Conflict
I began to see that my discomfort came from a deeper belief: Conflict is not a problem to fix—it’s a crisis in human interaction. In a crisis, people don’t necessarily need a neutral party to push them toward compromise. They need support to reconnect with themselves and each other in a more grounded way. That is what drew me to Transformative Mediation.
It isn't about fixing a problem or achieving a solution; it’s about shifting the interaction from one that is destructive and disconnecting to one that is constructive, connected, and humanizing.
Shifting the Interaction: Empowerment & Recognition
In moments of conflict, we often feel disoriented. We feel uncertain, defensive, overwhelmed, or powerless. This shows up in how we speak, how we listen (or don’t), and how we see ourselves and the other person.
Transformative mediation sees these moments as opportunities for two kinds of shifts:
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Empowerment Shifts: Moving from a state of "I can’t" to "I can." This happens when someone moves from confusion to clarity, finding their own voice and feeling grounded in what matters to them.
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Recognition Shifts: Moving from "You are the enemy" to "I see you." This is when someone begins to see the other person with a bit more openness—not necessarily agreeing, but relating with humanity rather than suspicion.
What Transformative Mediation is NOT
To understand this practice, it helps to distinguish it from traditional problem-solving models:
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It is NOT "Settlement-Driven": We aren't just "getting to yes." If an agreement happens, that’s great—but the goal is the quality of the interaction, not a signed piece of paper.
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It is NOT "Mediator-Led": The mediator does not set the agenda or establish "ground rules." The parties are the experts of their own lives; we trust them to set the direction.
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It is NOT "Tone Policing": We don't tell people to "calm down." We trust that clarity often comes through the expression of honest emotions, not by suppressing them.
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It is NOT "Compromise": We don't push people to meet in the middle. We support them in finding what feels right for them individually
The Facilitator’s Toolkit: Holding Space
Unlike more directive models, the role of a transformative mediator/facilitator is to hold space rather than lead the process. We support the interaction through four main practices:
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Reflection: Repeating back what was said to help someone hear their own words clearly.
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Summary: Gathering key themes to support clarity and understanding.
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Check-ins: Gently asking what someone wants to do next, honoring their agency.
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Silence & Space: Knowing when not to talk and letting the "quiet" do its work.
Why This Matters in Polarized Times
Coming from community organizing, I know that systems often fail when we stop seeing the human across from us. In our current climate of "Us vs. Them," we need spaces that are safe, brave, and accountable.
Transformative mediation invites a different kind of presence, one that trusts in people’s capacity to find their way when given the space to do so. It aligns deeply with what I believe about people, power, and the potential for connection even when we don't agree.
To learn more about participants perspective on the work, check out the "Voices from the Work section of our website.